Finding a soulmate in your lifetime is rare that when you do stumble upon it, it's as if the celestial gods sat down and agreed to make it happen. It's simply phenomenal that you're caught blindsided by its sheer intensity. It seems so human but at the same time unreal how something so life-changing could happen to you. You've been walking alone for a long time, and to suddenly have a pair of footsteps beside yours gives you this profound feeling of completeness.
How many people have passed your life in which you had to make your voice louder to be heard? To reconstruct your sentences to make yourself clear? To filter your thoughts, so you don't get misunderstood? And then here comes someone who knows the right words and sometimes doesn't even need it to reach you.
Doesn't it feel good to have someone properly translate the contents of your heart? Your rest among the chaos, your constant among the temporary, you're definite among the uncertainties.
That nagging feeling
When it comes to you, it feels like a strike of lightning- electric, alarming, but empowering. Nobody else can tell how you feel better than you do. Many people will try to discourage you from relying on your intuition, but its power can alter your life drastically.
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Because it's not something you're used to, you might act hostile towards it and deny it in the first stage. It doesn't make sense, but since when did love become as plain as black and white? The first signs are usually the physical symptoms and escalate to internal musings. A never-ending, ”why her?” or ”This can't be.” There's no logical explanation for this because it's your instincts taking over. It might be against your better judgment, but it makes you restless and fills you with anticipation that you'd willingly jump off the cliff.
Low compatibility? Not your type? Someone you never thought you'd befriend? Who gives a damn.
It is what it is, and succumbing to this gravitational pull seems to be the natural course of action.
Sure, it doesn't make sense, but you're willing to try, willing to risk to find out where this hunch of yours will lead you. Despite how cautious you were before, tiptoeing around the idea of being emotionally attached, you're still taken by the person before you. Not even your unresolved trauma could hold you back from relishing in the secureness this person engulfs you. Others may tell you that it's a piece of emotional baggage waiting to happen or that it'll never work out, but you know that once you let go of it, You'll never find something quite like it and that in its wake, there can only be hollowness.
You don't even have to try
This person's perfectly in sync with your thoughts and knows you like the back of their hand. Unlike with other people- you don't need to explain yourself to them. They notice your nuances no matter how subtle, and they accept your eccentricities. They're not fixated with the version of you that they created in their head and understood you for your totality and not just some parts of you.
While they tend to push for your self-growth, they don't do it in an imposing manner and give you the needed time in your transition process. It seems easy to your soulmate because they know when to press your buttons and even your breaking points but won't use it against you. You feel generally comfortable, and you spill your secrets without much restrain. You often find yourself not needing to put up a front around them and strut in your most authentic self.
For people who view vulnerability as a weakness, their soulmate is their safe haven. They will embrace your suffering, your turmoil, all your sharp edges and make you feel worthy without having to try. It's that certain calmness they hold- in their gaze and in the simple touches they so easily give.
Intimacy goes beyond physical bonds
Your physical attraction might be the reason why you're together in the first place, but it's not the foundation of your relationship. You connect with this person in all aspects, and that includes mentally and spiritually. While lust results in the euphoria that quickly fades away when the warmth of a body is no longer there, spiritual bonds tie you with the person even in the smallest of things. Even basking in their presence is enough and puts you in a state of bliss and contentment.
No physical restrictions could dampen your relationship because it does not rely on passion alone. Your intimacy is not only skin deep but delves into how you don't just tolerate each other's company for a reason but actively seek it because it brings you genuine happiness. If you're in a relationship with your soulmate, distance is an inconsequential thing.
While sex is good and all, isn't it reassuring to know that there's a person out there that's not after your body to fulfill his carnal desires? That a soulmate exists to rever you in all your glory and holds you with such delicateness because he regards you as something precious? It's being able to sleep at night knowing you are loved for all that you are and that the bond you have will not crumble in a blink of an eye.
Respect goes both ways
When we love a person, we act according to what we think is best for them. The idea of someone going out of their way for you- might be sweet, but at the same time, it could also be self-centered. Who are you to decide what's best for someone? And even if you know, if it goes against their wishes, aren't you forcing yourself into them?
Your soulmate might know and understand you, but they still have it in them to ask because it's a sign of respect. People go through constant change in their life that it's wrong for us to assume they still want the same things in the long run. Your soulmate will establish healthy boundaries and respect your autonomy. And even if they have developed bad behavior resulting from past experiences, they will try to unlearn it for both your sake.
They highly value you, but that doesn't mean they treat you like an object by being possessive. It's in your soulmate's best interests to see you explore life and thrive. Despite your difference in opinion or how heated the argument will become- they would still refrain from acting with disrespect. They would try to communicate with you so both your messages would come across openly.
You've found yourself a kindred spirit
The world is a plethora of different cultures, diverse people, and various upbringing that finding a person who connects with you on a different level can prove to be hard. It's as if after a long time of suffering in isolation and loneliness, you have finally found where you belong.
When you're in the company of your soulmate, conversations become engaging, and you're both an open book to each other. It's as if you're both scheming a plan that others would find difficult to comprehend.
Everything seems to align with this person- from your interests and visions to your morals and values. You both view the world through the same lens, so there's minor disagreement and less strain in your relationship. After spending an appropriate amount of time together, they've probably made a mental manual of you already. They know what ticks you off and how best to deal with you.
Your ride-or-die buddy, your partners in crime, the first person you call when you've murdered someone because they'll help you bury the body. Having a kindred spirit makes everything lighter and tolerable in this otherwise stifling life. Stumbling upon them is like having a good amount of pressure on your shoulder lifted.
With the things you regard ardently, your soulmate not only reacts to them enthusiastically but enjoys them as well.
They help in raising your self-awareness
They may be fond of you and would lay the world at your feet in a heartbeat, but they will not let their lives revolve around you. They love you enough to let you have plenty of space to breathe and grow. Respecting your freedom doesn't mean they like how you self-destruct, and so they're quick to call you out on your lapses.
They will show you things about yourself that were unknown to you before. They pay attention to the smallest things, and it's in moments like these that you feel a surge of emotion. From the color of your eyes to what food pacifies your anger- they have it imprinted in their mind for safe-keeping.
When you feel lost and helpless, you're not afraid to let your guard down around them. You know that they'll hear you without judgment. And when you seek good advice, they constructively give counsel.
They're not afraid to confront you when there's a need for intervention. A soulmate would rather face conflict than hold grudges against you. Not everyone has it in them to go through significant changes with the person they love, but not them- they'd go through the storm with you. A soulmate would stay even if it means having to watch you transform yourself into a different person before their eyes.
The trust you have in them is unwavering
You don't question their motives and would blindly follow them. You would insist that they make plans for you. You feel secure and safe enough to know that whichever direction they point you in would never harm you.
You don't take secrets to your grave; you take them to your soulmate. Your soulmate might as well be your walking diary. Your faith in them allows your soulmate to participate in your life-making decisions. You know that they're well aware and understand different aspects of your life, and therefore their choices would most likely reflect yours.
You treat each other as equals
You and your soulmate put in the necessary work to establish a healthy relationship. You each have a role to play, and no one is superior to the other. With the differences you have, you balance it out by providing for what the other lacks.
When it comes to contradicting opinions or having fights, your soulmate will meet you halfway. This person doesn't want to oppress you in ways that diminish your worth as a person. They constantly meet you at eye level. If there are subjects which they are knowledgeable about, but you lack a better understanding, they will take the time to teach you but in a non-condescending manner.
They don't project their traumas to you
No matter how much of a wreck they are or whatever repressed traumas they have, they don't let it get to you or your relationship. Because they're transparent with you as you are with them, they're less defensive. They may have bad days, but they don't use you as an emotional punching bag.
They value the spiritual bond and recognize that you're not an enemy, so they don't try to lash out at you. You both find ways to cope with the problem in a less harmful way.
This person grows with you
You may have some arguments over the years, but that's only because your horizons are growing. The change in your perspectives doesn't mean a significant fallout for your relationship – it only means you both need time to reflect on your own. You know that at the end of the journey, the other would still wait with open arms.